Marley Kalt

I’ve written before about gender roles and trying my hardest to be a stereotypical “girly girl.”

 

It’s made me wonder: how did I know that long hair and more pink would signal to others that I was a girl?  How did I learn to “be” my gender?  And what does this mean for my future?

 

According to several researchers, I gained this knowledge from the same people who bought me new pairs of jeans in hopes I would wear them.  I learned that girls wear skirts and boys wear t-shirts from the same people who told me I could become anything I wanted.  I learned about gender roles from, you guessed it, my parents.

 

It makes sense that those who raise us help to shape our values and beliefs.  Even across several cultures, “children’s stereotypes reflect those of adults” (Best, 2010, p. 540).  But there can be larger implications, as well.

 

Researchers Lisa Hagan and Janet Kuebli (2007) conducted a study on how parents monitor their child’s risk-taking behaviors.  The study used preschoolers, who were asked to do a variety of coordination-based tasks on a playground, while one parent watched nearby.  The primary focus of the study was how the parent acted while their child walked across both a five-foot high catwalk and a three-foot high beam.  The study showed that mothers kept an equally protective watch over their children regardless of the child’s sex, and fathers were more cautious with their daughters than their sons.  Furthermore, parents offered more verbal help overall to their daughters than their sons.  This disparity “suggests that parents may have given sons more independence than daughters on the catwalk activity” (p. 11).

 

It is these seemingly small differences that structure how we are socialized.  Children learn that females should be nurturing, and should receive help with physical or potentially risky tasks.  Males, on the other hand, learn to be more aggressive, competitive, and independent.

 

A 2007 study by Muriel Niederle and Lise Vesterlund showed exactly what the effects of such gender socialization could be.  The researchers had adult participants complete a series of mathematical tasks, with monetary compensations for correct answers.  Participants were given the option to be compensated directly for each correct answer, or to compete against a small group of others, where winning would mean greater compensation and failure to finish first would result in no payment.  In terms of getting the correct answers, there were no significant differences between men and women.  When it came to entering a tournament, however, 73% of men chose the competitive compensation scheme, compared to 35% of women.  Niederle and Vesterlund found this discrepancy is likely caused by men’s higher levels of overconfidence in their performance and their attraction to risky behaviors.  In contrast, women shy away from competition and risk.  The researchers believe their results may provide reason as to “why women are underrepresented in many high-profile jobs and across whole professions” (p. 1096).

 

Without a doubt, Niederle and Vesterlund’s findings relate back to how each participant observed and was treated by adults during childhood.  Even though we are told we live in a world of infinite possibilities, regardless of sex, a cycle of gender-role socialization continues turning.

 

I have been thinking about this more and more in recent months, as I approach the “twenty-something quarter-life crisis” stage of my life most articles about Millennials tell me I’m going to have.  Is this new stage of life simply a function of our present society?  Or am I, along with thousands of other Millennial women, holding myself back because it’s how I’ve been taught to behave?

 

I’d like to return to the point about women in high-profile careers.  A July 2013 Catalyst report of Fortune 500 companies found that women in business hold 16.6% of board seats and just 4.2% of CEO positions nationwide.  An earlier Catalyst report showed that women in finance represent 0% of company CEOs, despite comprising 54% of the industry labor force.  How is it that women make up over half of the workers in the U.S. finance industry, and just below 50% in business, yet so few have made it to the top positions their companies offer?

 

I’ll bet the majority of these women are unwilling to try.  They accept the lower compensation they receive for completing their work, rather than joining a competitive environment for the top spots.  A study by economics professor John List on the gender gap in career achievement revealed that “females were more likely to pass on [a] job once they found out part of their pay would be based on their performance versus a co-worker” (Gandel, 2010).  When it comes to advancing to the top spots in their field, TIME Magazine senior writer Stephen Gandel explains, “If women don’t like to compete, they are less likely to put themselves in these types of situation.”

 

I have no doubt that I act in the same way.  I am generally content to stay where I am rather than to risk losing by putting my work and abilities up against others.

 

I recently had a friend look over a cover letter I wrote for my dream internship, to which I’ll be applying in a few weeks.  She said the letter demonstrated my confidence that my past work experiences have prepared me well for the internship, but that I am not confident in myself.

 

As much as I hate to admit it, her critique was spot-on.  I know I have the ability and experience to do well at this company, but I am unwilling to truly put myself out there to compete for the job I want.

 

While some of desire to stay in the background likely comes from my introverted personality, I believe my lack of competitiveness comes from the way I was socialized during my childhood; from the expected female role that I have adopted as my own.

 

But, I also believe there has to be a better way to raise the next generation, if we cannot change the attitudes of the current one.  Not just to tell them everybody is equal, but to teach them the skills and mindset necessary to succeed in any field.

 

I want to live in a world where people utilize their strengths to the best of their ability, to make life a little bit better for everyone.  Not a world where we match ourselves up against, and try to follow, predetermined rules and structures, solely because we are told we should.